Things Mello hates
by Eskarina
Summary: L comes home to Whammy's house and Mello reflects on the things he hates about the visits. Oneshot, no pairing, just lots of brotherly love :3


_Just a quick first-time drabble to test the waters. If people like this I have a story in mind that looks a bit more at L's childhood. Tell me what you think, please be gentle, first DN fic._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death note or anything else. Not even my shoes. 83**

Mello hated it.

He hated the automatic-ness of it.

Hated the way that whenever L was back in Wammy's house, he, Near and Matt would instantly race to the windows and watch him walk up to the door. Hated the way he and Matt would race to the door when he walked in and tackle him to the ground.

Hated the way that for a moment, none of them had ever grown up past childhood, and he was just a little boy playing with his two brothers, his most favourite people in the entire world. It reminded him too much of the days before Near's arrival in the orphanage.

Back when L wasn't a detective, just the smartest boy in the whole world. Back when Mello could distract him from his constant studies very effectively by pouncing on the older boy and demanding to play a game.

It never occurred to him at the time that the reason why L was so happy to spend his valuable study-time playing childish games was because the children his own age wouldn't even look at him.

He hated how L _always_ managed to pin him. How he always said calmly, "Say 'L is the greatest' and I'll let you up."

Hated how Matt almost always ended up sitting on L during this moment, trying to wrestle him away. Hated how L could basically ignore Matt.

Hated how L would, after a moment, sigh and regain his composure, get up, Matt simply sliding off him.  
_Hated, hated_, that Near never joined in, but always stood and watched, his weird maroon eyes fixing on the display.

But L _always_ said something to Near. This time he stroked the eleven-year-old's albino hair. "Near-kun."  
_HATED_ that Near would look up at L blankly and not say anything more than "Hello L." and still got more attention than He and Matt.

"I brought you another puzzle."

"That's very kind of L." Near replied. "Thank you."

Double-hated the evenings, when L would sit in his odd way by one of the orphanage's bookshelves and then say calmly, "Shall I read to you?"  
The three never needed to respond with words to that. Not even when they were children. The care was good in Wammy's house, but didn't supply the closeness of a real family. They responded by bonding to L as a surrogate big brother. Whenever he offered to read, they piled themselves around his chair in rapt adoration.

And of course, he was good at reading to them, even though he sometimes chose books beyond their age, and had to continually stop and explain. In some ways, these were more fun, it made the stories last forever.

Of course, he told them the ordinary fairy tales as well, when they were little. Just in an odd way. Mello always laughed to himself when he remembered hearing Goldilocks being told to him as a kind of police report on a little girl who broke into a house and stole and destroyed property.

Of course, now they were older, it was on to much harder things. Ordinary children their age were reading teen novels and being forced to learn the easier Shakespeare plays for exams. These three were on War and Peace, in the original Russian.

He hated the way, after a while, Near would start to droop sleepily, and rather than slinging the little boy out of the room and into bed (as Mello would have ordered Matt to), L would pause, move his knees apart, and allow Near to climb up and rest against him.

Mello had hoped that _that_ little habit would stop as soon as Near got too old for it. It had not. It wasn't so bad when Near was a tiny little white fluffball, but he was eleven now, for chrissake. Eleven and still wanting to sit in L's lap. It was sickening, really.

Of course, if L ever _offered_ Mello would have leapt at the chance to sit there, resting his head on the older man's chest, listening to his heart beating, his breathing, the sweet smell he gave off…

Mello shifted uncomfortably from his place on the floor. It wasn't fair. He'd known L a lot longer than both Matt and Near, so why was Near so special?

Mello looked across at his partner in crime.

Matt was asleep.

He focused his eyes on Near. Was he asleep, or just sitting with his eyes closed?  
"Matt-kun and Near-kun are both sleeping, Mello."

Mello blushed. L _always_ seemed to know what he was thinking. He didn't hate that though. He liked that L was concentrating on him.

He did hate that L was so indecisive about _who_ was going to be his heir.

"Have you decided yet?"  
L bit his thumb and stared at the bookshelf. "Not yet."

Mello sighed and stretched, the leather pants he'd taken to wearing creaked.

_Entirely_ hated the way L gently stroked Near's snow-white hair, before picking him up and placing him on the couch, tugging a blanket over the little form before returning to his chair.

He clenched his fists and started counting backwards from 100. He got down to twenty before he snapped, "Why do you like Near better!? He's a robot!!"

L blinked his big panda eyes and tilted his head slightly. "Hm? I do not like Near any more or less than Mello-kun."

Mello scowled. "You do too! You like, hug him all the time! And you bring him puzzles! And you two are _always_ muttering about cases together!" He stood up and pointed one thumb to his chest, "I'm just as smart at Near and I wanna help, so why not me?!"

No response, just panda eyes staring at him.

Mello groaned in frustration and threw a helplessly pathetic punch at L's chest. Of course he dodged. And of course, Mello fell forward.

And was suddenly surrounded by white cotton and the smell of sweets and skin.

"…Hate you." The little blonde muttered, at the same time bringing his arms up to cling on to the older man. "Wish you'd go die."  
Long, slender fingers threaded through his hair. "Mello-kun is being silly."

"Fuck you."

"I'll tell Roger you said that."

Despised the way L's speech had changed since he left. He used to have a real English country boy accent. Kind of… Mello always thought it sounded like L ought to own half of Yorkshire or something. Posh countryside, that's what he sounded like.

He used to swear like a sailor too, Mello recalled, when he and Matt and Near were grating on his nerves he would turn and shout expletives until they were shocked into silence. Because he didn't do it very often even then.

Mello used to like that. Part of the intrigue of L was that he was a big kid, he could get away with stuff like that.

But now he talked like a robot, and no accent was there.

Except when he willed it back.

"Sit down a minnut."

Mello felt his face flush pink at hearing that voice sounding how it was supposed to again. He obeyed, flumping back into his place on the floor in front of L's chair.

L bit his thumb thoughtfully. "…Mello-kun wants to know why I pay special attention to Near?" L didn't wait for the reply. "It is because Near is L's real little brother."

Mello felt his mouth drop open.

"Mello doesn't know how I came here, does he?"  
Mello shook his head. Huddled closer out of habit, sensing a story.

"There's a manor in Yorkshire that belongs to the Lawliet family. There used to live Lord and Lady Lawliat and their sons, Nate and… and another one. One night they were all sitting together in the lounge, Lady with Nate in her arms, and Lord and the other son sitting trying to roast marshmallows on the fireplace."

Mello closed his eyes, to get the full image of this. It was weird to think of L as a little kid, and Near as a baby.

"They heard something break. Lord went to go and see and there was a banging sound." L continued, chewing his thumb harder. "Lady got worried and told Nate and other son to hide. So they hid in a cupboard. But older son was curious and looked out through the gap… saw Lady getting shot, falling… dying."

Mello swallowed. His mouth felt dry. "…L… what was the other boy's name?"  
L's thumb began bleeding. "I can't remember. He was so scared… didn't move an inch until the police came. By that time the gun man had gone. He took some money and a few valuables. No other relatives could be found for the boys… so they went to an orphanage."  
"Here!" Mello perked up.

"No… somewhere else, first. Older boy was very unhappy there. Too smart to fit in, punched and teased for things he did that looked odd." L seemed to notice his thumb bleeding, and wrapped the bottom of his shirt around it. "Then a nice man called Wammy came and took him somewhere where he wasn't mocked. The boy loved it there. He especially loved the younger children, because they reminded him of his own little brother." L sighed. "And then one day Wammy brought Nate there too. Because Nate was smart too. And the boy was happier than he knew he could be, because now he had three little brothers rather than just one."

Mello blinked, and then, without realising, bit his thumb. "…He still liked the real one best."  
L sighed deeply and moved his knees apart, "Come here."  
Mello instantly leapt up to sit between L's knees, rest his blonde hair against that skinny chest. Smell cotton and candy and skin.

Felt arms curling around his waist and face gently nuzzle his hair out of affection. Out of latching on to whatever small family could be gathered here. Out of brotherly love. Out of duty to protect. Out of being the big brother.

"Who's your favourite?" Mello demanded once more, voice turning sleepy.

L rolled his onyx eyes. "Mello-kun, I don't have any favourites among you three, it's impossible to choose who I like best, because I love all three of you for so many things. Near's innocence and wisdom, Matt's positively and loyalty, Mello's determination and rare smiles."

Mello mumbled something, he wasn't sure what, and pressed closer.

"But… If I did have a favourite, Mello knows who it would be."

Mello despised himself for being so selfish.  
He didn't really mind sharing, because Matt and Near needed L as much as he did.

And he loved his little family.


End file.
